Sketch 22 Presents Bunkerdown

I was born on the moon (Go Moon Colony Cavaliers!), and even though I moved to New Prince Edward's Islands when I was 3 years old, I'm still referred to as "From A Ways Away". Before this end-of-the-world nonsense happened, I was Principal of my alma mater, Charlottetown Urban High, where I ran a pretty tight ship. I'm divorced, and a widower, but can't remember in which order. When I get out of this bunker, first thing I'm going to do is find a good woman, a good meal and a good god.

Hi everyone. No surprises here. Plain old Fenner. I'm just another one of the guys, and that suits me fine. I love curling up in a cozy bed with a good novel - mmm snuggly! Or taking my eisel out to the woods and letting nature move my brush. And though it's difficult now to do some of my favourite things, that's no reason to get pouty. As they say, when one door closes, turn it upside down and make lemonade. I also love meeting new people. One goal in life I've always had was to meet an actual blond person. They say there were only a few naturals left in the world. And now there's only one, and I'm one of his best friends! Each day is a new day, and to it I say "Gimme five, dude!".

It's hard to say where exactly I'm from. I was found as a two or three year old in the giant waste area for Medibling-Corp research and development facilities. When found I was completely feral so it is unknown how I was conceived. I may be of a super-human zygote in a test tube that was chucked out and somehow managed to develop in the waste area, but more likely I was an unwanted newborn from some zing-head in the squatter village next to the waste site. Since then I have pretty much just continued surviving and kept a low profile.

Here's a pep talk for anyone who's feeling down. From someone who's been there. So you know this shit's real.

Okay. Truth time. In my high school yearbook, I was voted least likely to succeed. Yeah. It hurt. A lot. Ouch. Many people would have let that get them down, right guys? Some might have even considered suicide. Or even attempted it, before their mother walked into the room and told them to quit screwing around and take the radiation bins to the curb. But not me. I turned a frown upside-down. That summer, I got involved in a theatre show. I got to tour Mars and made a lot of new friends. A lot. I even sat at the same table as Glenda Starr, award winning actress and assthetician, during lunch. Twice. And when the show ended, you know what she wrote in my program? "To Larry. Most likely to fail."

Most likely. Yeah. That's right.

Sterling Silverman needs no introduction. But, since this is for posterity, there are a few things you should know about him. First, he's extremely good looking. Not just your typical extremely good looking either. He's more of an outrageously extremely good looking specimen among men. Also, he's a multi-talented entrepreneurial entertainer well-known throughout the quadrant for everything from his time as the lead commercial pitchman for the Everything-Pod, to his award winning role as Sterling on the unforgettable soap “Sands Through the Time Continuum”. Now that the world has ended, Sterling plans to spend his days relaxing while the others bask in his glory and count their blessings for being so lucky as to have Sterling Silverman among the survivors.

My name is Gwen Dolan. I was born Oct 6th, 2285. I have a PHD in Linear Algorithm Quantum Physics, but due to a shortage of job opportunities I now work on the factory assembly line of Robotluv Industries, the twenty-third largest manufacturer of synthetic life companions in the world. In my spare time I enjoy virtual hover skiing, virtual swimming, and virtual walks on the beach.

I've led a simple existence. I was raised as a middle child in a family of five, and now have a family of three with my lovely wife Gloria. She's a super cook! I'm a foreman at the 'Galaxee' Forbistat-Ring manufacturing compound located within the No-Fly zone, just at the end of Mermaid Road on the outskirts of our happy town of 'Bulbflowerspunk', New Prince Edward's Islands. I miss my job, and I think I miss my wife and kids...but am having the hardest time lately recalling the small ones middle ID #. I like to keep my mind in shape, and enjoy a healthy, hard days work. Oh yeah, and tinkering with my 'Breezeskier'. It's an older model, but I think it was one of the best years for this model. Gloria wishes I would take up a new hobbie. Ha ha Gloria... Can't wait for supper tonight my little 'Squeeze-pie'!